Imagination Penetration
by ForMeEssLemons
Summary: For those mature females who like Logan and Carlos. Join Carlos and Logan on their wild side which "you" will make them have. (It started off as a oneshot but I got tired and just decided to split it into chapters. This is written in an everyday life sort of thing, not a made-up episode. Read if you want and review.) fyi:: not a pairing of these two. {LEMONWarning}
1. Chapter 1

**Imagine this is you with Logan.**

I look over at Logan. He's the most handsome guy I've ever seen. I sigh, pleasurably. Carlos puts his arm around me, probably thinking I sighed for him. I roll my eyes and turn away from everyone. Carlos, Logan, Kendall, and James. BTR. I've finally met them and they're my friends now. No one knows this but I broke up Carlos and Alexa. Way too easy. Carlos is mine now. Though I never wanted him to be. I always wanted Logan. Kendall is hott and single, James is single, Carlos had Alexa, and Logan...OMG. I don't even know how to describe how insanely hott he is. Carlos was my backup if I couldnt get Logan. I never even tried to get Logan. I found out that Carlos was dating Alexa and didnt want no conflicts if I couldnt get Logan so I broke them up first. I dont find James at all cute but he's a good friend and I tell him all my secrets, except that one. The way I broke them up was a classic move. Nothin' beats the classics, they say. Who knew. I look back over at Logan. He glances over and sees me looking at him and smiles. My stomach flutters. He's so cute. I need him. I dont want to break up with Carlos though. He'd be so hurt. I feel a hand tilt my chin up and lips pressing against mine. Logan's face is still in my head and for a second I think its him. I kiss back then Carlos moans in my mouth. Why does he do that?! I slid back and push him away.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing."

"I've never seen you kiss him in public." says James.

"Yeah well, first time for everything."

"So give me more kisses." Carlos says, leaning forward.

"No."

"Why not?!" he whines.

"You know we dont kiss in public."

"But you just-"

"I have to go to the restroom."

I get up and head to the back where the restroom is. I turn around and see Logan looking at me while the other boys are talking. I flip my hair flirtasously and give a little smile. Logan smirks and turns back to the conversation. I go into the restroom and look in the mirror. I take a disinfectent wipe out my purse and wipe my lips. Gross. I apply gloss then wash my hands. I have to break up with Carlos. I leave the restroom and see the boys getting up. I walk over and Carlos puts his arm around my waist.

"We're leaving now?"

"Yeah."

"I gotta get home. My mom wants me there for dinner." Logan says.

Everyone lives alone except him. Even Carlos has his own place but a majority of the time he's at mine. He's even talked about moving in. Aren't women supposed to bombard men with crap like that? I shake my head of that thought. Carlos opens the car door for me and I get in. I close it and start the engine.

"I'll be over later alright. I got something to care of at home." he says.

"Oh yeah? Like what?" Though I simply dont care, but want to know anyway.

"Bills. I havent been there in a while."

"Okay."

"I'll see you later baby."

"Mhm."

He kisses me. "Bye."

"Yeah."

I drive home and sit on my sofa. I open my laptop and watch the video, "Worldwide." Logan is so off in this video. Kendall is the best dancer and though I love Logan, he's the worst. My phone rings and it's James.

"Yes hon'?"

"What was up with you today?"

"Nothing."

"You were distant, and you kissed Carlos in public. You never do that. Whats wrong?"

"Really James, its nothing. I'm fine."

"I'm coming over there."

"No."

"And why not?"

"Carlos is gonne be here soon."

"So?"

"I...we're having sex tonight."

"Eww. You plan out your sex nights?"

"No. He wanted to do it this morning but I was tired and told him later."

"Why would you tell me that!?"

"You asked!"

"I didnt want to know that!"

"Well you shouldnt have asked!" There was a pause. "James have you ever had sex?"

"You know the answer to that."

"Why dont you tell me again?"

"I dont feel comfortable talking about my sex life."

"We're best friends right? We tell each other everything."

"Yes. But you already know."

"You need to get laid big time."

He laughed. "Its been a while."

"I'm sure you'll be as awkward as the first time."

"Maybe."

"You will.'' I see car lights pulling into my driveway. "Hey I gotta go. Carlos is here."

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye."

I unlock the door and open it a crack. I sit back on the sofa and I look up to see Logan. "Logan? What're you doing here?"

"Hangin."

"I thought you were having dinner with your mom."

"I am. Just not today."

"Well...Carlos is gonna be here soon. Do you want something to drink or something?"

"We just came from eating."

"Right, right."

We stare at each other for a while. I lean and he sits up.

"Alright, I'm just gonna come out and say it."

"Say what?"

"I know you like me."

"What?" I say, smirking and with a high pitch.

"Don't pretend. You were staring at me all day and then you kiss Carlos in public. You never do that!"

"Just because of that doesnt mean I like you."

"It's more than that. Whenever we all hang out together, you always have to be with me. And before Carlos and Alexa broke up, you were even with me then. After they broke up, you started hanging around Carlos. I know that you're only dating him because you feel bad. You were right there when it happened."

"Logan I-"

"I just want to say that...I like you too."

"You do?" I say smiling, my body fluttering.

"If you werent with Carlos, we could be together." he said softly. "I know you want me."

I do. I totally do. But I dont want to hurt Carlos. Damn my big heart. "Logan I cant. I...I cant."

"I'm not saying break up with him. Just that when you do, I'll be right here waiting."

Damn you Carlos! My cell rings. "Hello?"

"Hey baby."

"Carlos. Whats up?"

"These bills. Look, I just got so much to catch up on. How bout I see you tomorrow?"

"Uhm, okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye."

"What did he say? Is he coming now?" Logan asks.

"No. He's staying home."

"Oh."

Logan is sitting right here in front of me. I could be doing so many things to him right now. I realize that I've been zoned out thinking about having sex with Logan for the past hour and a half. He's got the tv on. The way he's sitting, oh goodness. Legs spread far apart, he's leaned down in the sofa, one of his legs on my coffe table, wait what the hell?

"Hey get your leg off my coffee table!"

He slids his leg off and raises and eyebrow at me. Oh my stomach.

"Whoa, look at the time. I gotta get home."

I look up at the clock. It's only 9. He has a curfew, how embarrasing. I laugh.

"Whats funny?"

"You have a curfew."

"I do not! I just...got stuff to do tomorrow."

"Yeah right."

"I do!"

"Okay Logan, whatever you say."

He gets up and heads to the door. I follow behind him. He opens it. "Bye."

"Bye." I go to kiss him on the cheek like I do all the boys when we're parting, and he happens to turn around and I get lips. I put my hand to my lips and Logan just stares at me. We stand like that for probably two minutes. Logan closes the door and pulls me into him and kisses me. I want to push him away but I cant. We continue kissing and his cell vibrating brings us apart. He takes it out his pocket and looks at it. He sighs then turns it off.

"Who was that?" I ask.

"Shh. Dont talk."

He takes me to the sofa and sits me on his lap. I put my legs on both sides of him and make sure my vaginal area is facing his penis. He pulls me forward some more. We continue making out. I moan in his mouth. I can feel him getting an erection.

"Oh Logan." I moan.

He says my name back. His picks me up, wow. He's strong for a little guy. "Lets do this."

"No. Lets play a little."

"What?"

I push him back on the couch and unzip his pants. I pull them down and look at his dick. It's quite big. Not bigger than Carlos's but a pretty good size. Why am I thinking about Carlos right now? I get down on my knees and grab his cock. He sighs. I kiss his tip and begin to rub his meaty goodness. He puts his head back and sighs.

"Oh shit." he says.

I lick it and he moans. I insert it in my mouth and start sucking. He moans some more. I can feel it pulsing it my mouth.

"Fuck!" he says. "Baby just get on top of it."

"No." I continue sucking. He grabs my head and moans again.

"I'm...I'm..." his cum flows into my mouth. This has never happened to me before. I want to spit it out but the trash is in the kitchen and the bathroom is too far away. I dont want to ruin the moment, so I swallow it. I suck him some more, the more I suck the harder I feel him squeezing my head. I push his hands off and come up. He leans down and kisses me. "Now will you get on?"

"Hold on. I sucked you up, how bout you lick me?"

"Really?"

"Yes!"

He sits there for a minute. My clit pumping every second. He smiles. "Alright, it's only fair."

He pulls off my shorts and then kisses the hem of my pantylines. Jeez, get on with it! I buck my hips and he gets the message. He starts to pull them off when my phone rings. I pick it up to turn it off and Logan sees who it is and he jumps up.

"Carlos! Oh my God what am I doing?! Your Carlos's girlfriend! I cant be fucking you! Oh my gosh! What if he finds out!? This is wrong! I have to go!"

"Logan wait!"

"Stop! Let go!" he snatches away from me and runs out the door.

"Logan! Logan come back!"

He jumps on his motorcycle and drives away.

"Damn it Carlos!" My cell rings again. "What?!" I answer.

"Whoa, babe, whats wrong?"

"I...nothing. Just a little tired."

"Well your gonna be fatigued because when I get there, I'm gonna fuck you so hard that your-"

"Yeah, whatever Carlos."

"I'll be there soon."

"I thought you had stuff to do."

"I'd rather spend time with my girl. Is that a crime?"

"Maybe," I mumble. "Okay. Whatever."

"I love you."

My heart stops. I hate when he tells me that. I dont really love him back. "I...lo...love...you too."

"Bye."

"Bye."

_**AUTHORS NOTe:: Had to stop there. Always leave them wanting more. Haha. But no, this was supposed to be a one shot but I'm tired. I'll make another chapter soon.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two;;**

Carlos showed up and tried to fuck me.

"Okay what the hell?! This morning you tell me to wait until later then you kiss me in public now you dont want to have sex! Whats wrong with you today?"

"Nothing's wrong! Fuck! Stop asking me that!"

"I'm just concerned. Your my girlfriend and-"

"See thats the problem."

"What is?"

This guy is so effin clueless. "I dont want to be your girlfriend anymore!"

He didnt say anything. They say guys dont cry but...okay he didnt cry but his eyes are watery. He nodded. "Okay then."

He got up and put his clothes back on. Before he left he turned and looked at me. He's like a puppy dog. Ohh, so sad. "Can you tell me why?"

"I just...dont want to be with you anymore."

"I shouldve known something was up when you kissed me in public."

He then left. I feel terrible. He's so hurt and I was the cause of his break-up too. He was happy with her. Maybe if I get them back together I'll feel less bad. I curl up and fall asleep. When I wake up the next morning, Carlos isnt there. I forgot why then I remembered. We broke up last night. I sucked up Logan. Logan! Oh my gosh, I have to call him! I picked up my cell and dialed his number. He didnt answer. I sat in my room thinking. I didnt get up until late in the afternoon. I took a shower and when I got out, someone was knocking on my door. I went to see who it was.

"Kendall, James. What're you guys doing here?"

"They're not here either. Where do you think they are?"

"I dont know."

"Whats going on?" I ask.

"Carlos and Logan. We're supposed to be at the studio and they didnt come in. They're not answering their phones either. Have you heard from them today?"

"No."

"Carlos didnt come home to you last night?"

"He did. But he left."

"Why?"

"Because we uhm...kind of...broke up."

"WHAT?!"

"Why?" asked James.

"Its nothing. I'm sure he's fine."

Kendall shrugged and sat down on the sofa. James closed the door and followed me to my room. "What's happened? Why did you break up with Carlos?"

"What makes you think _**I **_broke up with him?!"

"..._**He**_ dumped _**you**_?"

"Hmpf!" I turned my back on him and sat on my bed.

"I'm sorry (-your name-)." he rubbed my back.

"I wish I could tell you, but it's gonna hurt everyone." I say quietly.

"What?"

"I want to tell you, I really do, but I cant."

James looked at me and then perked up. "Did he cheat on you like he did Alexa?"

"Well...actually-"

"I dont know whats gotten into him. He's never cheated on a girl before. Alexa was the first girl he ever cheated on. Now he's done it to you. I should go talk to him."

"Did you go to his house before you came here?"

"Yeah. We didnt see his car but we knocked anyway. There was no answer, so we came here. Logan's mom says she hasnt seen _him_ since yesterday morning."

James and Kendall stayed at my house for a couple of hours, trying to get in touch with Logan or Carlos, but to no avail. A couple days pass by and we're starting to get worried. I didnt know whether or not to call Carlos but I've tried Logan. I wonder if Carlos is okay...Screw it. I'll call him. I dialed and got his voicemail, the voicemail we made together...He sounds so happy.

"Hey Carlos, its me. Look, I'm sorry about what happened. Please, I need to know if your okay. Call me back when you can." I sighed and waited. About 5 minutes later, someone knocked at my door. Probably Kendall and James again. I opened it. "Carlos. Your...alive." I wanted to hug him but didnt think it was right. He walked past me and just stood there, I closed the door.

"What do you want to talk about?" he said, no emotion in his voice.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Where've you been?"

He shrugged, "Around."

''Where?"

"I really dont think you should be questioning me. Your not my girlfriend anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"Why did you break up with me?"

"I-"

"I want the truth. You tell James your secrets and I was your boyfriend, you didnt tell me anything."

I sighed. I dont want to tell him. Maybe just...half of it. I dont want him hurt again. "I...Logan came over and he...told me he liked me." I waited for him to say something, he didnt. I continued. "I told him I couldnt like him back but he said that when you and I break up, he'll be waiting for me."

"So you want to be with Logan now?"

"No. I just...got a little confused and...I dont know. I dont even know what happened."

He stepped towards me. "So...can we be boyfriend and girlfriend again?"

I looked up at him. He was smiling. Oh gosh. I feel guilty. What should I say? You'd think these things would only happen on movies, guess they were based off something. I kissed him. He pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me. When he hugs me, I feel like I'm being sucked into his body. I dont know why, but it feels so good. Thats the only thing about him I like. Carlos stopped kissing me and took me to my room. He sat me on the bed and took off his shirt. He got on top of me and kissed me some more. He moaned into my mouth. Seriously, bad habit. I hate that he does that. He kissed my neck, then started sucking on it. I sighed.

"Oh Carlos...Carlos..."

He sat up. "Take off your pants."

I did as I was told. Carlos took off his too and then entered me. He thrust into me hard, making me wince. He drove into me deeper and harder. He grunts everytime he thrusts.

"Carlos...ohhh...shit...ohhh...ssss...baby...ohh, yes...harder...fuck!"

He stopped thrusting hard, but dove in and out of me faster. He moaned. I pulled his head down and kissed him. He stopped for a second and kissed me for a while. He pulled back up and drilled me so hard, the scream I did was actually real, it was not from pleasure but pain. He slowed then just went in and out real slow then he quickened and moaned then grunted.

"Damn...shit...ohh..." he sighed. "Fuck."

Then he rolled off of me. I put my head on his chest. "I'm sorry Carlos."

"Its alright."

"I really am."

"Babe, stop apologizing. I forgive you."

We layed there in silence for a long time. Carlos's chest went up and down slowly. I thought he was asleep when I said, "He kissed me." I was thinking it to myself, happy about the fact he kissed me, then I heard;

"He did what?!"

I gasped. "Carlos! I thought...you were sleeping."

"Logan kissed you?"

"Its...its not what you think!"

"Tell me what it is then!"

"I...I...he was leaving and...I went to kiss him on the cheek like I do all the time and he...he just turned around and I got lip." I paused. "Then he kissed me back."

"How did he kiss you?"

"Uhm...the same way you do."

"What?!"

"But we stopped and he left."

"Did you even think about me when this was happening?!"

"Well...no...I was...but he did! He stopped himself and got all whacked out then left."

Carlos stared at me. "Why didnt you tell me this earlier?!"

"I didnt know how. I was...I wasnt thinking."

Carlos laid back. I looked at him. "Carlos? ... Carlos?" He didnt answer me. About 10 minutes passed by.

"Okay."

"Huh?"

"Its okay. Its not your fault."

"Are you mad at him?"

"A little. But I'll get over it."

"Carlos I'd be more comfortable if you got mad."

"I am mad."

"No you're not. Your calm. Your taking this well. Why are you doing that?"

"(-yourname-), I am mad. I'm truly fucking upset about this, but you're not going to do it again. Are you?"

"No! No of course not!"

"Well good then. Someone needs to call Logan, his mom is going crazy."

"I'll call him." I grabbed my cell and dialed Logan.

_**AUTHORS NOTe:: I decided to make this into a story. Its taking place in their everyday life. If your thinking this will have them acting in the show they have, stop it. This is going to be what they're doing behind closed doors. But only Carlos and Logan, and you! ;)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three;;**

Logan didnt answer his phone. I tried again. I looked over at Carlos, who is sleeping, I'm for sure this time because he's snoring. I go into the living room. I called Logan again. Voicemail again;

"Logan pick up." I sighed. "I told Carlos what happened. He knows everything," I looked back, "almost everything. Everyone's worried. Just come home. Carlos isnt mad, I'm not upset, sweety just come back."

A minute later my cell rings. "Logan, hey."

"You told him?!"

"Yeah."

"Why?!"

"I...I had to. But its okay, he-"

"No! Its not okay! Do you know what's going to happen now?! I'm kicked out the band for sure! Everyone's going to hate me!"

"Logan! Calm down!" I went to my room, Carlos is still sleeping. I closed my door and went back to the living room. "I only told him we kissed. I didnt say what else we did.''

Silence. "He's not mad about us kissing?"

"No, not really. I told him it didnt last long, we stopped and you left abruptly."

Longer silence. "Do you think it's safe for me to come back?"

"Yes. Come home. Its all good here."

"Okay. If you say so."

"Okay, see you...later."

He hung up. I sat on my sofa. I still want Logan. Now I'm stuck again with Carlos. Why can't I break up with him? I have to call Alexa. She needs to take Carlos back. I went in my room. I picked up Carlos's pants and took out his cell phone. I know he still has Alexa's number. I creep out the room back to the living room. His phone beeps. It's a text. From...Alexa? What the hell?

_'I dnt kno Carlos, u cheated on me. How cn I trust u agin?'_

What the fuck is this all about?! I read Carlos's message to her.

_'Alexa pls! I'm rly sry. I still luv you. Will u take me back? Let's tlk about this.'_

He sent this a few minutes before he showed up here. There's more messages. Wait a minute...we were dating then! I got up to go confront Carlos about this. But...why? I dont really love him. He should be with Alexa. I should be with Logan. I copy Alexa's number to my phone. I hear my bedroom door open and I jumped. I hid Carlos's phone behind me. He walked into the living room, completely naked.

"Hey." I said.

"What're you doin?" he asked.

"Nothing. I just called Logan."

"Did he answer?"

"Yeah."

"What'd he say?"

"He's coming home."

"Thats good. I'm going to the bathroom."

"Okay."

He turned and after he closed the bathroom door, I quickly put his phone back in his pants pocket. Carlos came out the bathroom as I sat on the sofa. He sat next to me. He put his arm around me.

"Does he know that you told me?"

"Yeah. He was pretty upset, but I told him that you were okay with it."

"Hm."

"I'm sorry Carlos. I didnt know that was going to happen."

"Its okay. Please...dont bring it up again. If I forget about it I wont be pissed off."

"Okay. Deal."

Carlos tilted my chin and kissed me. He kissed my shoulder and then my neck. He laid me back and lifted my leg. Ugh, this guy could go for hours. It's like he never gets tired. I didnt have on panties so he jammed right in. He pushed and pulled and pushed and pulled. I stifled a moan so he didnt think I was bored with this. I wonder what Logan feels like. I closed my eyes and pretended he was Logan. He pulled out and then I felt my clit being rubbed.

"Oohhh...ahh...faster."

He rubbed faster, I got that tingling sensation I get when I'm about to release my juices. But he stopped. My clit throbbed.

"Why'd you stop?" I opened my eyes and saw Carlos frowning. "Whats wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

He got up and pulled the coffee table away from the sofa. He got on his knees and put my legs on his shoulders. He looked up at me. I know what he's about to do but this is the first time he's done it. I shrugged. He pushed my nightgown up some and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes. I felt him lick my clit. I gasped slightly. He didnt move for a few seconds. Then I felt him licking me over and over again. He occasionally pulled back and stuck his fingers inside me while he rubbed his thumb against my clit. He pulled his fingers out and licked me some more.

"Carlos..." I whispered his name.

He started sucking and I lost it. My juices flowed out. Carlos pulled away.

"Oh...God."

"I'm sorry Carlos. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry."

"Turn over."

"What?"

"I said turn over." he said, turning me to my backside.

"Uh...Carlos I dont want to do it this way."

He rubbed my ass cheeks. He put his cock at the rear entrance.

"Carlos, dont."

He pushed himself in. He knew it was tight but he kept going anyway. I'm guessing I loosened up because he began to go faster. He groaned and then slapped my ass cheek! I looked back at him. He had his eyes closed and his head back, mouth agape. I raised up and put my arm around his neck. He started to rub my clit some more. We were both moaning. Carlos slowed down a bit. He pulled out my backside and then flipped me over and dove into my soaking wet pussy. He thrust a few times then slowed down.

"Damn..." he said.

I feel his hot cum flowing into me and as he was pulling out.

"I love you Carlos."

Silence. Where the hell did that come from? "I love you too." he said, kissing me.

He got up and went to the back room. Why did I just say that?

_**AUTHORS NOTe:: Oh my gosh. Was that hott or what? ;) I'm Putting up chapters fast because they're already written.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Pt.4

I just told Carlos I love him. Now it's gonna be even harder to once and for all break it off with him. It's been a few weeks now. Everythings back to normal. Except for the fact that Carlos has been at his house instead of mine, and that Logan wont talk to me, or even look in my direction. A few days ago, Carlos told Logan he wanted to talk. I know what they talked about. I havent seen Logan since and hmm, Carlos hasnt even called me since that day. What the fuck has he been up to?

"Hello? Earth to Jayd!"

"What, huh?"

"It's your turn."

"Oh." I look down at the game board. "I dont want to play this anymore."

I put the dice down and sit back on the sofa. James sits next to me.

''Whats wrong?"

"Carlos. He hasnt called me. He stopped coming over here a few weeks ago. I'm starting to wonder if-"

''Can you blame him? You kinda cheated on him with Logan."

"He forgave me though! Do you think he wants to break up with me?" I say, leaning into James.

"I dont know."

"How can you not know?!"

"Well, I'm not Carlos. I cant read minds Jayd!"

I closed my eyes and thought about that night with Logan, when I told Carlos I loved him.

"I have a secret James."

"What is it?"

"Logan and I, we did a lot more than kissing."

"What do you mean?"

"He sort of...felt me up."

Pause. "Did you tell Carlos that?"

"Of course not!"

"Why?"

"Why would I?!"

"I think Carlos should know. 'Course, they'd probably stop being friends, the manager would kick them both out the band, there'd be no more big time rush."

"Stop over-exaggerating. Besides, I cant totally put all the blame on him. I let him do it. And it felt good." I said smiling. "And I did stuff to him too."

"What kind of stuff? Did you-"

There was a knock at my door.

"You cant tell Carlos."

"I think I should!"

"James no! Please."

"Fine. But if you dont tell him soon-"

"I will. Just, keep quiet okay?"

"Yeah."

I opened the door.

"Hey Kendall." He walked in and behind him was Logan, staring at the ground. "Hi Logan."

Before I could close the door, some female slipped in. Who in the hell?

"Oh uh, Jayd this is Bianca. I hope you dont mind, I brought her along." Kendall says.

"Hi. I'm Bianca." she repeats, smiling.

"Whatever."

I go to my room and call Carlos. He doesnt pick up the first 3 times.

"Hello?" he answers finally.

"Whats going on? Why havent you called me?"

"Should I be calling you?"

"Yeah! Your my boyfriend!"

"Am I?"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Nothing. I just...I dont have anything to say to you right now."

"What's the problem?!"

"This Logan thing. I just been thinking about it and I dont know...it's bugging me."

"All we did was kiss! Why are you dragging this on?"

He sighs. ''I'm sorry baby. I'm not the type to hold a grudge but you kissing Logan, one of my best friends...it was a kiss that broke up me and Alexa. I just dont want that to happen to us."

"It's going to happen to us Carlos. You gotta stop thinking like that."

"I guess."

"Will you come over?"

"Yeah. I'll be over later."

"Okay."

"I love you Jayd."

"I...love you too."

He hung up. Why do I keep tormenting this poor sap? I dont even like him. What is wrong with me!

"Pizza is here Jayd!" James yells.

I get up and make my way to the front.

"Naw. She's Logan's girlfriend. He didnt want me to tell Jayd for some reason." Kendall says.

"I dont want her to know because of what happen between us."

"Is was just a kiss. I dont see what the big deal is."

"Maybe it was _**deeper **_than what we thought."

Did James just make a sex pun?

"Whatever. I wouldnt be hung over on something silly like that."

"You kissed her?" Bianca says.

"Long story."

"Short story. They kissed. The end." Kendall says.

"When did this happen?" Bianca asks.

"A few months ago. Can we just drop it?"

"Uh, no!" Bianca screams.

"I said drop it!" Logan screams back.

I hear her huff and then I walk into the living room.

"Hey Jayd. Pizza's in there." Kendall says, pointing to the kitchen.

"I'm not hungry." I say.

I sit in a chair and Bianca gives me a stank look, I return it. She rolls her eyes and looks to Logan, whose got his eyes glued to his plate. We all spend a few silent hours watching tv. Logan gets up and goes to the bathroom.

"Oh snap. I need to get going." Kendall says.

"Where?" James asks.

"I'm meeting up with my dad. We're supposed to watch the game together."

"Oh. I need to be going to." James says.

"Why?" I ask.

"I just dont wanna be here anymore."

Well damn. He and Kendall are so brutally honest.

"Logan, lets go! We're leaving!" Kendall yells.

"It was nice meeting you." Bianca says.

I look at James. He gives me a look. "You too." I say.

Bianca, James, and Kendall walk out the door. Logan comes out the bathroom. He quickly puts his head down. Before he walks out the door, I grab his arm.

"Logan, look at me." He keeps his head down. "Look at me, please. I need you to look at me."

He sighs. "I cant."

"Why not?"

"I just cant."

"Look at me dammit!" I scream.

He slowly turns his head and looks to me. My body tingles.

"Logan."

"I gotta go."

He removes my hand. "Logan!"

I close my door and lean against it. "Logan..."

My body gets pushed forward some. I move away from the door. Carlos walks in.

"Hey baby." He kisses my cheek. "Whats goin on?"

"Nothing."

"Whats wrong babe?"

"Nothing."

He opened his mouth and then shrugged. "Alright."

I looked out the window and saw Logan looking up at my window. Its like our eyes connected. My heart started to feel fuzzy...He got in James's car and they drove off.

"Babe! Did Kendall eat all the pizza again?!" Carlos called from the bathroom.

"No! There's still some in the kitchen!"

I stood at the window with my hand over my heart. This is bullshit! I want to be with Logan! I groan and sit on the sofa. Carlos comes out the bathroom. He goes into the kitchen and comes out with pizza.

"Did you put the seat down?" I ask him.

"Of course I did babe."

We watched tv for a few hours. Carlos turned it off and started kissing my neck. It feels good. He runs his hand down my thigh, making me tingle all over. He kissed my chest and then he pulled me down. I put one of my legs on his back so he could scoot a lot closer. I can already feel his erection. He continues to kiss my neck. He came back up and kissed me on the lips. I bite onto his lip and kiss him some more. He pushed his erection down on me.

"Oh Carlos..." I moan.

"You know babe, I was thinkin," he says while kissing me, "we should do some foreplay."

"Why?"

"I heard it...spices up the sex life."

"But your sex is great."

"I know, I know." He passionately kisses me. "I still think we should do it."

I moan. "Carlos..." His name comes out a whisper. "Okay Carlos."

"Awh, thats great Jayd! I already have-"

I stop listening to him. He keeps calling me babe. He doesnt call me that. He's only said it a few times, when he was extremely happy. But, how could he be happy? I havent done anything to him and I know work is slow. James and Kendall talk about it all the time. Could he be...he cant be cheating on me. There's no way. I push him off.

"Whats up?" he says.

"Are you cheating on me?"

"What?! No! What makes you say that?"

"You keep calling me babe."

"So?"

"You never call me that. You've only said it when you are extremly happy."

"So I'm happy." he smiles.

"How?"

"You make me happy babe."

"See now, I cant be making you happy. You havent been calling me or coming over. And after the shit with Logan, you shut down on me."

"Stop, dont bring that up."

"I wanna know Carlos. Why are you so happy?"

"Your pissed at me for being happy?"

"No. I may be pissed at the _reason_ your happy."

"What?"

"Tell me why your happy Carlos!"

"Okay! Okay." he sits back and sighs. "Jayd, you make me happy. I'm not cheating on you. I know that I havent been calling or coming by and I sort of shut down after the Logan thing, but...whenever I try to think of my life without you, I cant. I wanted to dump you and kick the shit outta Logan...I didnt do it. I love you Jayd. Your everything to me. I know that it was just a kiss but I felt so hurt. I cried for days after you dumped me. I dont know what I would've done if it was anything more than a kiss. I just..."

He took my hand and I almost teared up. What is he gonna do after he finds out it wasnt just a kiss? "Carlos..."

"Everyday when I'm not around you, I have no emotions, but when I see you, I feel everything. My spirit lights up when your around me. You are the best thing in my life, I cant make it without you, babe." He kissed me.

We stared into each other's eyes for a while. Carlos grinned.

"Can we have sex now?"

I laughed. "Sure, babe, whatever you want."

_**Authors Note:: It's been a while. I was gonna stop this but then I started thinking about **_"stuff"_**...I remembered this and wrote something.**_


	5. Chapter 5

Pt.5

Carlos put his hand on the bed-board and went as fast as he could. His sweat dropped on me.

"FUCK!" he yelled.

He stopped and just laid on top of me for a few seconds, catching his breath. He sighed and then rolled over. I kissed his cheek.

"What's gotten into you?" I say smiling. "That sex was _amazing_! You were incredible baby."

"Yeah. I told you foreplay really spices it up." he panted.

"I guess it did."

"Hey, me and the boys have a photoshoot and then we gotta work on our video tomorrow."

"Okay."

"I'd better get some sleep. Goodnight hon'." he kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight, Officer Pen_is_." I giggled and turned off the lights.

The next morning, I woke up to Carlos gone. What should I do? Should I tell him? Do I keep it a secret? I'm torn between breaking up with him or not. After my shower and breakfast, I decided to just listen to music. I video chatted with my family for about 20 minutes. Nothing's changed with them. I was about sleep listening to Jason Walker, until someone knocked at my door. If this is the woman from downstairs I am so gonna cuss her out. I got up and opened my door. Its not the woman from downstairs.

"Logan? What are you doing here?"

"I, I need to talk to you."

"I thought you had a photoshoot and video."

"Yeah, we do."

"Why are you here?"

"I love you Jayd."

''What?"

"I love you. Look, I know your with Carlos. James told me he knows everything, he said you told him all of it."

"Logan-"

"No. Its fine. I thought about it and...I love you girl. I wanna be with you. I dont care anymore. I need you. Carlos is my best friend and this band means a lot to me but I'd gladly throw both of them away to have you in my life."

"You cant."

"I can, I can and I will. Give me an answer. I know you want me too."

I do. I do want him. But, I love Carlos, a little. I wanna be with Carlos. But Logan is sooo damn fine! Oh my gosh! What am I going to do?

"Answer me!"

"No!"

''No what?"

"Logan, I do wanna be with you, I do. I just...Carlos..."

"Oh my - can you not think about him right now? I need to know if you truly want to be with me!"

"Its so much going on right now."

"Alright alright, look. If I dont get an answer from you by the end of this week, I'm telling Carlos the truth, everything."

"You wouldnt."

"I would. I'm doing this for you baby. Tell me whats going to happen."

I cant have him telling Carlos this! Carlos will go nuts! Gotta think.

"Jayd!"

"Okay!"

He smiled. "Good."

"No, no. I cant! Carlos is my boyfriend!"

He nodded. He's mad, I can tell. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. He sighed and began to kiss me back. He pulled off my clothes and put me on the sofa. Logan took off his clothes and got on top of me. He stared at me and then put a finger to my bottom lip.

''Jayd...I've been waiting to do this with you."

"I have too."

He kissed me and put his shaft in me. I dont know what to think about it. Logan begins to move. My stomach is tingling.

"I dont think I'm doing this right." Logan says.

"You've never had sex before?" I ask him.

"No." he blushes.

"Here," I turn over on top of him and take over.

"Ohhh Jayd!"

Logan and I began to moan together. He holds onto my hips and thrusts.

"Yes...oh...CARLOS!"

"What did you call me?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Logan."

"Get off me."

I get up and Logan starts to put on his clothes without a word. I go to the bathroom and wrap myself in a towel. What would posses me to call him Carlos? I go back into the living room and Logan is putting on his shoes.

"Logan-"

"Stop, just stop."

"Baby I'm sorry."

"No. Whatever. Just leave it."

My door opens and James walks in. "James!"

"What the fuck is going on here?" he says.

"Nothings going on. Nothing at all." Logan says, getting up and leaving.

"Jayd! You did it again!?"

"Sorry! James dont tell!"

"You're making it hard for me to not do that!"

"James! Please! Logan already said he's telling Carlos everything! I...I dont know what to do anymore!"

I start to cry. I try to cry into James's chest but he pulls me away.

"I dont even want to see you right now."

"James, no..." I sob.

He shakes his head and leaves. I stand outside on the balcony.

"James! Please dont go!"

He looks up at me. He gets into his car and then drives off. I go into my house and cry myself to sleep. When I wake up, Carlos is stroking my hair. I sit up and hug him, then kiss him like there's no tomorrow. He pushes me away.

"Whoa babe, what's wrong?"

"I...I just missed you."

"I was only gone a few hours." he raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure nothings going on?"

"Yeah." I say looking down.

He stared at me. "Logan came over here didnt he?"

"Uhm..."

"I knew it! I knew it! He left early at rehearsal! What did ya'll do this time?!"

"Nothing!"

"I dont know why I put up with you! I knew you always had a thing for Logan! Have ya'll fucked?!"

I opened my mouth but I couldnt say anything. My heart is beating out of my chest. Carlos sat down slowly, mouth agape. He sat back, tears welling up.

"You didnt..."

"No..."

"Your lying. I know your lying. I cant believe you would do that to me!"

"What about your texts to Alexa?! We've been dating since you've sent them to her!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"I read the texts!"

"Why are you in my phone!?"

"Why are you texting Alexa?!"

"Okay, you know what, yeah! I've texted her! When you told me that Logan kissed you, I thought you wanted to break up with me! I texted her. And you know what else, these past few weeks, I've been seeing her!"

"Excuse me?!"

"It's not what you're thinking. Ever since I texted her, she wont stop texting me now! I've been trying to explain to her that I have a girlfriend but she doesnt want to let me go!"

"Carlos!"

"Oh dont give me that shit! I wasnt _cheating_!"

"Carlos look I'm sorry, okay? Can we just...talk about this?"

"No. I've had enough. It's over."

I didnt know what to say. I know he's mad and I know that he loves me and doesnt want to break up and really doesnt know what to do right now and neither do I. He sighed. He grabbed his jacket and started for the door. He turned and looked at me.

"I love you Jayd." he said, a tear falling.

"I love you too, I do. And I'm really sorry."

"Do you love me like I love you?"

"I do."

He smiled. "So...this is it huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

We stood there silently about 5 minutes. He stepped to me and pulled me in a hug. He kissed my forehead. "I dont want this to be over."

"I dont either."

"We just need some time apart."

"Yeah."

I felt him smile against my forehead. ''Should we have sex one more time?"

I look up at him. His brown eyes, cheeks wet from tears, thin beckoning lips... I lift up and kiss him. "I dont think thats such a good idea."

He nodded. "Thats true... Let me just," he cupped my ass, both of them. He let out a pleasurable sigh then lightly smacked it. "Sorry."

"Its fine."

He stepped back then a tear fell again. "I guess this is goodbye."

"Bye."

_****The story isnt over yet. Please keep reading, following, whatever.**_


	6. Chapter 6

Pt.6

Its been nearly a year since I've heard from any of them. The night Carlos and I broke up for good, not even Logan called me afterwards. I wonder if he, Carlos, and James have patched things up. It was hard to get used to the fact that its ultimately over. I got a new boyfriend to help cope with the pain, his name is Ryan. He sort of looks like Carlos to me. The first few times we've had sex, I always called him Carlos. He didnt even care. A few months of being together, I found out he only uses me for sex, and thats okay with me. Its not like I have emotions anymore. Well, not the happy emotion. Thats long gone. Until;;

"Jayd! Oh Jayd! Faster! Oh God, go faster! Shit! [moans] Jayd, Jayd, I'm gonna..." he groans and then sighs.

I roll off of him. He gets more pleasure out of this than I do. Ryan wraps an arm around me and starts to doze off.

"That was great honey. I'm gonna take a nap and we at it again." he says.

"You have a problem Ryan. You need counseling."

"I'm not addicted to sex. Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because you do."

"If I need counseling so do you. You fuck me as much as I fuck you."

"Whatever."

I get up and go to the bathroom. As I'm washing my hands, I hear my phone ring. I go into my room and see Ryan fast asleep. Idiot. I pick up my phone and the name on my screen causes me to almost have a heart attack. I dropped my phone and it continues to ring. When it stopped, my heart slows. The voicemail msg pops up. It wasnt until the next afternoon that I open up the voicemail. Ryan's gone to work so I put it on speaker.

"Hey Jayd. Its Carlos. I guess you probably already know that since you have caller id. Uh...listen. We need to talk. I figured you wouldnt answer the phone so meet me at Astro Burger on Santa Monica Blvd., at one o' clock. Please. If not, I'll just keep coming here everyday at that time until you show up." he pauses for a long time. "Bye."

I look at the clock. Its 12:13. Carlos is probably sitting there now. Waiting on me. I get up and and get dressed. Its 1:32 now. I get in my car. I start the engine and before I even grip the handle to back out, I start to have a panic attack. I stop the car and go back inside. I cant do this, I cant. I end up falling asleep and wake up about 6 hours later. My phone beeped from voicemail. Its from Carlos.

"I knew you wouldnt show. Its fine though. I'll be here tomorrow. But tell me, did you get all dressed up, get in the car and then panic?" Pause. Then he laughs. "I knew it. And no, I dont have anyone watching you. I just know you so well, like you know me. Like you should know that I never stopped loving you. What?! Hold on! Jayd please come tomorrow. We got some - what?! Dammit, okay Logan! Tell them I'm coming! I gotta go. I'll see you tommorow, hopefully."

Logan? So...they patched things up. The next day, its afternoon. Almost one o' clock again and I'm all dressed up. Ryan shows up as I'm about to walk out the door.

"Where you going?"

"Out."

"Out where?"

"To uhm...get some food?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay. Oh, and get some condoms."

"Alright."

He kissed me then flopped on the sofa. I went to my car and started it up. I drove to Astro Burger. I get out the car and look around the parking lot. I see Carlos's car. I can see inside and see Carlos in the back looking down. I take a deep breath and walk up to the front door. Before I open it, I wonder if I really want to do this. I do but I'm really nervous. I love Carlos. I sigh and go inside. The bell above the door dings and I just stand there. Carlos looks up and his mouth slightly opens. I can tell his heart is racing, mine is too. I walk over to the table and sit down.

"Hi." I say.

"Hey." he says back.

We sat there for a while, awkward. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I...I didnt think you'd come until the 3rd or 4th day."

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you came."

"Yeah."

Another awkward silence.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" I ask.

"You uhm, you look good."

"Thanks." I say blushing.

Carlos looks at his phone. He sighs. "Okay I just gotta say it, I'm back with Alexa."

My heart dropped. I couldnt feel anything, my body went numb. "You called me here to tell me that?"

''Yeah. I-"

"Maybe I shouldve just stayed home! How can you be so inconsiderate?! Are you trying to break me?! Carlos its bad enough that you broke my heart! You want to kill me too?!"

"_I_ broke your heart?! What about me?! _I_ wasnt fuckin Logan behind _your_ back!"

"Your being a jerk Carlos! Why do you do this to me?!"

"What?! What have I ever done to you?!" he said standing, firmly putting his hands on the table.

I stood up too. "You were texting Alexa while we were dating, you break up with me, then you call me and tell me your dating her!"

"I broke up with you because you cheated on me! With my best friend!"

"Excuse me!"

We looked over to see an older woman, she looks mad.

"You two are going to have to leave. Your bothering everyone!"

"See what you did!" I say.

"What I did?!"

He picks up his phone and we go outside and yell some more. He pushes me towards his car, opens the passenger door and puts me in. Then he gets in the driver side and I continue to yell at him.

"Its not working." he says calmly.

"Whats not working?"

"Me and Alexa."

"Well..." I didnt know what to say.

"I called you hoping we could get back together but...your obviously still hung up over Logan so...whatever."

Its funny, I havent thought about Logan like that since well, the night we did it. Now I only see him as the guy who fucked up my relationship. I know its my fault but...I guess I'm just not ready to accept that I did it on my own. We sit there a while, not looking at each other. I finally look over at him.

"Carlos?"

He looks at me, eyes dead, "Yeah?"

"I still love you."

"Thats nice."

"No, Carlos, I do still love you. I do want you back. If...if never talking to Logan again will get us back together then I'll do it. Please Carlos, just...I'm sorry."

"Nah, thats okay."

"But...but..."

"Yes, my butts nice. But ou dont have to not talk to Logan, we patched things up. Sort of. I dont like being around him too long but its good."

He looked at me and cracked a smile. We leaned in and he kissed me. My body feels light. Its cliche, but if he wasnt holding onto me, I'd float away. I can feel him feeling my leg. He slowly worked up to my vagi-area. I moaned.

"Carlos..."

"We need to go to your apartment. Now."

"Yes...just rub me a little bit more."

He kissed my neck and then put his fingers in me. He rubbed my clit with his thumb and it felt sooo good. I look down and see him grab his junk. I'd better get him home, he'll cum thinking about fucking me.

"Lets go baby."

He started the car and we drove to my apartment. Before I got out the car, I forgot that Ryan is still there. I got out the car;

"Carlos wait!"

"What? What is it?"

"Uhm...uhm..." What the fuck do I say?!

"Oh! Right, right. I forgot something in the trunk."

Whatever that may be. As he struggled to open the trunk, I called Ryan.

"Hello?"

"Ryan! What the fuck are you doing?!"

"Well I was jacking off. What the hell is taking so long with the condoms!?"

"Your jacking off in my apartment?!"

"I was joking."

"Well I need you to leave my house right now!"

"Why?"

"Just go!"

"I got it babe!" Carlos said.

"Ryan just get out, now!"

I hung up before he said anything. Carlos started up the stairs. What the hell am I going to say when he sees Ryan? My heart is beating out of my chest. Oh God. Carlos twisted the handle it was locked. He reached in his pocket.

"I still have a key." he said.

"Great." Oh no.

He unlocked the door and opened it. I froze. I couldnt move.

"Whoa." Carlos said.

Thats it. Its over. He's not going to want me back ever. He looked back at me.

"I see you havent changed anything."

"What?"

Is he gone? Did Ryan actually leave? I go inside and look around.

"Holy shit."

"Whats wrong?"

"He cleaned my apartment." I said to myself.

"Jayd, lets get this going. I'm losing wood here."

So about 15 minutes later, I felt like I couldnt move. My thighs hurted so much.

"Girl, you dont know how long its been since I've had sex. Alexa wants to wait until marriage." Carlos had said during.

"That's nice Carlos."

He turned over and propped up on an elbow and smiled down at me. He stroked my hair.

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too."

"I dont think this is right."

"What?"

"This. Us. I want us to be together but I cant help but feel that your gonna cheat again."

I sat up. He pulled me closer.

"Promise me you wont cheat on me again."

"Carlos."

"Please. Before we do this I need to know you wont-"

"Jayd!"

I gasped. "RYAN!"

"Jayd!"

My bedroom door opened before I could even move. Carlos and Ryan stared each other down.

"Who the fuck is this?" Ryan said.

"This...my ex boyfriend."

"What the fuck is this?! If this is some three way shit I'm not interested!"

"What the hell are you-?" Carlos began to say.

I got up and pushed Ryan out the room.

"Ryan you gotta leave."

"Why?"

"Because...its over. I dont want to be with you anymore."

"Did you get the condoms?"

"Ryan, are you not hearing me?! I said its over!"

"I didnt say the condoms were for you now did I?"

Shocker. "You're cheating on me?!"

"Oh puh-lease. We were never together, remember? You said it. Now, did you get the condoms?"

I did say that. I guess I cant be mad. But how am I gonna explain this to Carlos?

"Hello? Condoms?"

"I didnt get any. Now could you just leave?"

"Sure. I'll see you later."

And he left. I turned and saw Carlos dressed, pulling on his jacket.

"Carlos, where you going?"

"Home. You're not ready yet. I dont know what I was thinking. I gotta go."

"Carlos no! I am ready! Please! Dont leave me again."

"Jayd, I want you, right now, to tell me that you'll never cheat on me, that you'll always love me, that we'll have kids someday, that we'll be together forever. Tell me that. Tell me now, or I'm leaving."

"I..."

I've got no answer. I dont know what to think right now. He turned and left. Left me again. Maybe I should just give up on this relationship. No more. This is it.

_***AUTHOR:: I dont know how long I'm gonna drag this on. Bear with me. Keep reading and following.**_


	7. Chapter 7

Pt.7

Why did I do this? I havent moved for 3 days now. I've been lying on the floor where Carlos left me. I havent even called in to work. My phone's been ringing but I havent moved to get it. Why bother? Its not Carlos. My stomach is starting to hurt and I smell. I get up and take a shower. My phone keeps ringing. I cook something to eat then clean up my apartment. I take a nap. About 2 hours later I wake up to Ryan standing over me.

"Ryan, what are you doing here?"

"I've been calling you all day. Whats wrong?"

He sat down and held me. I cried.

"Whats wrong Jayd?"

"Carlos left me."

"Uhm...wasnt that a year ago?"

"No, I mean yeah, I mean...when you came here the other day, he said he wanted to get back together."

"Oh."

"Then he saw you and left. He thought I wasnt ready."

"Well, are you?"

"I dont know. I mean, I want him back and he wants me to promise that I'll never cheat on him."

"If you love him so much then do it. Stop cheating."

"I dont know if I can. He's got a friend...I like his friend too. I'm torn."

"Have you and this friend done anything? Does this friend know you like him?''

"Yeah. We had sex once. Carlos found out and he left me."

Ryan was quiet. "So...a year later he wants you back?"

"Yeah."

"And you've been fuckin me for the past 8 months. Hm... Jayd I dont know what to tell you. You and I arent dating, I mean did you tell him that?"

"I couldnt. He wouldnt even give me a chance to talk."

"Probably wouldnt matter anyway after you tell him we've fucked in the past year."

"I know. Maybe I should just...kill myself."

"What?!"

"Carlos...I've never had feelings like this for someone before. And now he's gone. He doesnt want me. I cheated with Logan, I've been fuckin you...I dont know how I can make this up to him."

"Jayd if he loves you so much then I'm sure he's willing to work this out, but you gotta help too. You gotta stop doing what you do."

"I dont know if I can." I sighed. "Maybe I should go to rehab."

Ryan kissed my forehead.

"Why are you being so nice? Your usually an asshole."

"Oh, I'm high right now."

I laughed. We sat for a while. "So, what were you calling me for?"

"I wanted to fuck."

"After what we just talked about?"

"I know, but I'm coming down and I'm horny."

"No Ryan!"

"Oh please! Carlos isnt gonna take you back anyway!"

"Ryan!"

"Just suck me up then!"

He may be right. Carlos doesnt want me. He's got Alexa and she wants to get married and never cheated on him. A lot of shit went through my head.

"Jayd."

"What? Oh, right, uhm, okay."

I dont want to do this but Carlos isnt coming back so why not. I got down and unzipped Ryan's pants. He pulled out his cock and then there was a knock on my door. I got up. Ryan grabbed my hand.

"No. Dont open the door."

"I'm opening it."

"I said dont!"

I snatched my hand from him. "Are you gonna stop me?!"

I went to open the door and it was the woman from downstairs.

"Your car alarm has been going off for 30 minutes now! I'm trying to sleep, turn that shit off!"

"Fuck off bitch!" I slammed the door in her face.

Before I got back down my door opened.

"Carlos?!"

"Jayd...again?"

"No! No, nothings happened! Please believe me!"

"Jayd." he sighed, pinched his nose and shook his head. "Your lies are gonna-"

"I'm not lying!"

"Well WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING ON YOUR KNEES IN FRONT OF THIS GUY?!"

"He...he...he doesnt know how to tie his shoes!"

"Ohh, nice save." Ryan said sarcastically.

"Okay, Carlos...I lied. I was gonna suck his...you know. Carlos," I walked over to him and took his hands, "If you want me to stop cheating then I'll do it. I promise. I wont even look at another guy! I love you Carlos. I'm done with this. I wanna marry you, I want to have your kids baby! You gotta take me back. This thing I have for Logan is done. Yes, we did have sex. And I sucked him up and I tried to get him to lick me but he didnt do it."

"Graphic." Ryan said.

"After you left me, I went out and found Ryan. He looked like you so I started dating him. He's a real prick. He's the total opposite of you but I missed you so much that I stayed with him."

Carlos took away his hand and backed away from me. "Were there any other guys than Logan and this dude?"

I thought. I think I got drunk one night and woke up naked and saw a dildo next to my bed and...I dont even know what the hell.

"If we're gonna make this work then I need to know. Tell me all your dirty secrets."

"No. There was no one else. I promise."

"Oh my God." Ryan said.

"Get the fuck outta my house."

"Fine."

He got up and left. Why does he keep doing that? What guy does that? Not even Carlos would just up and leave if I tell him to.

"Jayd."

"Huh?"

"Are you sure this is it?"

"Yes! I'm so done. And if I do slip up just...break up with me and never take me back."

"Jayd."

I started to tell him that I - and then he kissed me. "Carlos?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He picked me up and took me to my bed. He laid me down and then kissed me while pulling off my pants. He unzipped his and kissed me some more. He took off his shirt and I stripped too. We kissed a while before actually doing anything. Carlos spreaded my legs and entered. He grunted. He thrust in me hard each time.

"Carlos...slow down...*moan*...oh Carlos!"

He pulled out and then started to rub my clit. He then licked it and came back up and kissed me some more. He pushed back in and thrust hard some more. We fucked about 30 minutes. New record for us. Carlos immediately went to sleep afterwards. I heard my cell ring and I picked it up. Logan. I ignored it. He called about 6 more times before I answered.

"What do you want?!" I yelled.

"I need to see you."

"No!"

"What?"

"Logan, whatever we had, it's over. I'm with Carlos now."

"You know your gonna end up cheating again, with me, Carlos is gonna get fed up with it and never want you back and I'm gonna be the only one to ever want to see you. I love you Jayd. I need you. You love Carlos for now but you know deep down we should be together."

I looked at Carlos. "Logan I-"

Carlos stirred and then sat up slowly. "You're up babe?"

"Yeah."

"Good. I'm at a hotel so-"

"Not you! I was talking to Carlos!"

"Whose that?"

I was gonna lie and say Ryan but... "It's Logan."

"What does he want?"

"He...wants to have sex with me."

"Jayd!" I heard Logan yell.

"Give me the phone." Carlos said.

He took the phone and started to cuss out Logan. I could hear Logan yelling too. Wow. Its shocking that BTR even knows words like that and uses them to well. Carlos hung up and handed me back the phone.

"I dont want you talking to him anymore! You got that!?"

I nodded. He looks so pissed. I've never seen him so angry. Not even when I told him what Logan and I did. I was scared to get up and comfort him. He went into the living room and I sat in bed a while. I figure he's had enough time to cool down and I go into the living room.

"Carlos?"

"What?!" he snaps at me.

I sit next to him. "Are you alright?"

"No I'm not alright!"

"What's wrong?"

"How can you even ask that?!"

"Huh?"

"Your what's wrong!"

"What?"

"Dont give me that! Your the reason I lost Alexa! Your the reason Logan and I arent friends anymore! James never lied to me before we met you! I'm probably gonna get kicked out the band because of you! Everything important in my life is ruined thanks to you!"

I let him go on as I teared up and looked down. I felt him pull me closer.

"But I cant seem to let you go. I've never been so in love with a girl before. You're worth losing everything because in the end, the prize is you and I've never been so happy."

"Carlos...I feel like...we should just not continue this relationship. I'm just gonna keep hurting you. I know I'm gonna cheat on you again, with Logan."

"We just got back together, for the third time, and you've already planned on cheating on me? With Logan?!"

"No no! Its just...I like Logan and he likes me. I love sex and Logan is a great sex partner-"

"What?!"

"No! See I mean, awh! I dont know! Carlos I just dont want to be your girlfriend anymore! Ever!"

He let go of me and we sat there quietly. He never moved from the spot. Not until about 3 hours later. I was in my room, packing up everything Carlos has left here. He came in my room and watched me.

"Look, I'm really sorry Carlos. I do love you but I cant do it anymore."

He smiled. "You know, James told me you broke Alexa and I up."

"He what?"

"Yeah. He said you got me drunk and had some girl make out with me while you just watched. You planned the time Alexa came back from that massage."

I picked up his shirt and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. We weren't too far into the relationship anyway."

I sighed. "It wasn't just some girl."

"Huh?"

"It was me."

"You."

"Yeah. I didnt want some strange girl kissing all over you. Alexa didnt know me so I just went for it."

"Why did you do it?"

"Well, when I came to Cali, I wanted to meet all of you. I first met Kendall and befriended him. He introduced me to you all. I planned to be Logan's girlfriend, but at first he didnt seem interested, so you were my backup. You were dating Alexa... I dont know why I did it."

"Jayd...I dont even know what to say to you right now."

"I'm sorry Carlos. I know that I keep saying that, but I dont know what else to say. There are no words I can say that will make you feel better about all the things I've done to you."

"Tell me this...be honest with me, for once."

"Okay."

"Would you have done any of this to Logan? If you had got him first?"

"Well Carlos, to be perfectly honest..."

_'Would I have done any of this to Logan? The whole reason I keep hurting Carlos is because I want to be with Logan so I guess-'_

"No."

"Why?"

"Well...I just want to be with Logan. I should've never asked you to be my boyfriend. I knew what would happen but I just couldnt stop myself."

"Thanks Jayd. Thanks for breaking my heart. This is the last time I'm ever coming over or talking to you. I'm serious."

I stood up and he opened the front door. "Okay. I understand."

"Damn it Jayd! Why are you acting like that?!"

"Like what?"

"Like you dont even care that I'm breaking up with you or even care that you hurt me?!"

"I dont Carlos. Isnt it obvious? Just go be with Alexa. I know you'll be happy with her."

"I will! I am!"

"Good."

"I dont want you dating Logan!"

"Why is that your business? We're broken up!"

"I just...I love you."

"Oh my-God! Carlos just go! Please just leave! Please! I'm sorry I did all that but Carlos you gotta go!"

He opened his mouth then closed it. He slammed my door as he left. I sat on the sofa and ran my fingers through my hair. What the hell am I going to do now?


End file.
